Bad Dream

Had an awful dream last night that papau had died and mom and I were at g&p’s house. Kathy wasn’t there for some reason. Grandma kept trying to act normal and make little jokes, but she was never really smiling. She just seemed sort of lost wandering around the house.

At the beginning of the dream, I knew what had happened, but I can’t remember now. I finally couldn’t take talking to grandma anymore and went into papau’s room. I got one of his suit jackets out of the closet and pretended he was there telling me about the stuff in the closet, taking it out and showing it to me. Mom came in and kind of broke the spell and I just curled up on his bed and cried. I wanted to keep pretending he was really there.

Actually woke up crying, and I don’t remember ever doing that before.

Anyway, paranoid about sleeping tonight. Finger is still bruisy and hurting but I needed to write this out.

More Weird Dreams

I was walking to a costume shop by Kroger for some reason and on the way there (it wasn’t located in the dream where it is in real life), I see an older man stumbling onto the curb. When I got closer, I realized it was papau and hurried forward to help him get steady on his feet. Grandma showed up out of nowhere. We happened to be right next to a restaurant, so we decided to stop and eat. Wes showed up too - again, out of nowhere. Outside there was a commotion all of a sudden. Two people seemed to be arguing and we figured they’d had a fender bender in the parking lot. I moved around to see out the front window a little better and could see a fire burning between the vehicles. Suddenly the color of the fire shifted to green and it started to burn higher and brighter. Someone yelled for everyone to get under cover. I hurried with everyone else to the back of the restaurant, which was protected behind a brick wall. Almost as soon as we got back there, whatever had been burning exploded. I noticed that papau wasn’t with us and started freaking out, running back into the restaurant as soon as the dust settled. I was calling for him over and over. No one who hadn’t made it back looked hurt, just dazed. Finally I saw papau walking toward me from the front door and ran over to hug him. That’s when I woke up.

Starting to get tired of these weird dreams lately.

Family Time

Free, but weird. Been having lots of dreams lately, which I haven't for awhile. Dreams I actually remember. Strange stuff.

Last night the first part of my dream was me and mom hanging out with Cutter, Baby, and Otis from Devil's Rejects. Cutter was telling some story about when he was growing up and Baby kept trying to make friends with mom but for some reason mom had decided she didn't like her. Seemed pretty nice to me. There was one of those games where all the stuffed animals are in the glass box and you put in a quarter and use a claw to pick the stuff up, but the box was full of water and I remember wondering why anyone would want some soggy, moldy stuffed animals. It was an odd, dusty little back-room we were in. I only remember one couch being in there, faded wallpaper, all that good stuff. I had some other random dream after that but don't recall the content anymore.

This is what I get for reading Stephen King before bed.

Steal My Sunshine

I've had two dreams recently with John (my dad)'s dad in them. It's strange because he's not really someone who crosses my mind often. Then last night I had one with him, then woke up, then went back to sleep and had a tornado dream. My painting teacher a couple years ago said that tornado dreams are about emotional disturbance and that he's found that most of the students he's had to visit that theme in their dream painting (generally the final assignment for his intro to painting class) have had problems with emotional abuse in the past. That pairing of dreams is disconcerting to me. I don't know if it has to do with something I'm not dealing with or with his actual health. I know it's been failing over the last year. He's a horrible old man. At least he always was. Maybe in his twilight years he's taken note of how he's treated people and is changing. I don't know. I don't really care to know anymore than I cared to know with John. As much as I hated John at various times, I know where he learned it. I know he cold his coldness and his cruelty and his desire to put on a happy public face instead of making a truly happy home from his parents. It's what they've always done. He came by it honestly.

First Day of School

Last night I dreamt that it was the first day of seventh grade. All of our clocks said different times. When I got to school I realized that I had forgotten my stuff. Mom brought it, but when she got to school I suddenly had my stuff and she just had an english muffin for my lunch. I was sitting with Karla, Jennifer, and Becky.

Last Day

I dreamt last night that it was the last day of school again. I asked Joel when he was going to move, and I couldn't understand what he said. Then I was watching the news and I saw Wylong Joy playing basketball with some other boys. He looked so sober and serious. Then I realized that he was at that boys' ranch. Poor Wylon. Next I was like in a Spanish opera, but I woke up before it was to the second act.

House Sitting

Last night I dreamt that me, mom and Kathy went to spend the night at Riley's house while he and his family were away. I got to stay in Riley's room. His bed was on the same wall as the door and had baseball sheets on it. At the foot of his bed was a round stained wood table, and on it was sitting a Barney, Aladdin type Colorform. His closet was on the next wall going counterclockwise. The doors to the closet were shut. There was some stuff laying on his bed. He had a shelf full of books and stuff. On his bedside table there was a lamp with a creamy, orange, yellowish shade and a varnished wood base. The walls were white. Mom stayed in his parents room with Kathy. I didn't see any room but Riley's.