Bad Dream

Had an awful dream last night that papau had died and mom and I were at g&p’s house. Kathy wasn’t there for some reason. Grandma kept trying to act normal and make little jokes, but she was never really smiling. She just seemed sort of lost wandering around the house.

At the beginning of the dream, I knew what had happened, but I can’t remember now. I finally couldn’t take talking to grandma anymore and went into papau’s room. I got one of his suit jackets out of the closet and pretended he was there telling me about the stuff in the closet, taking it out and showing it to me. Mom came in and kind of broke the spell and I just curled up on his bed and cried. I wanted to keep pretending he was really there.

Actually woke up crying, and I don’t remember ever doing that before.

Anyway, paranoid about sleeping tonight. Finger is still bruisy and hurting but I needed to write this out.